It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
