I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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