Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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