You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
