He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
