Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you win again, gameday.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
