Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
