he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
