Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
