My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
