My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
