yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
