I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You have to summon your inner elephant
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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