I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
