So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
