I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
