It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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