No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
