You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
