doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
