lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
