have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
