yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
