Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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