he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize