Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
