I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Randomize