im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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