this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
