I can tuck mytits in my pants
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
