You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
