If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
