I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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