One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Mom said you looked used
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
