i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
