I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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