You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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