her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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