what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize