I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize