The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
