I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
