She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
