the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
