I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
