and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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