there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
