I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
please come you make the beer taste better
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
