do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
