When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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