the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
