I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
