I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
