I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
