Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
