you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize