But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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