Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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