1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
